Never Say "Holero"
'''Never Say "Holero" '''is a German comic about Mario, created by Adolf Hitler's ghost during the winter of 1997. It is twisted in every way, shape, and form imaginable, and was soon demolished by Bob Saget because it was too weird and evil, even for him. Plot Part 1: Skiing and Scariness The plot of this comic involves Mario skiing in Switzerland, having a grand old time, when he hears somebody singing "holero". This causes everybody on the ski slope to turn into cheese, with the exception of Mario, who is protected because of his rabbit earmuffs. From here on out, the comic only gets weirder. Mario decides to investigate this sudden transformation, only to find that he is the only one left alive with the exception of Toad, who used a Koopa shell to protect himself. Toad meets Mario at the bottom of the ski slope and guides him to the lodge, explaining that everybody around the world has been transformed into a type of food that is native to their country. Mario runs through the lodge and discovers, sure enough, that Toad is correct. Shigeru Miyamoto has turned into sushi, Napoleon Bonaparte has turned into escargot, and Marx has turned into oxygen, since he is usually undefeatable, lives in space, and does not need to eat anything. Scared out of his wits, Mario runs back to Toad's room, only to find that Toad has turned into a mushroom. Mario, having no other choice, consumes the mushroom and grows bigger. Then, he runs off once more and decides to look for the culprit behind this crime. Part 2: Cthulhu and Cannibalism After searching the entire lodge, Mario not only finds no trace of the criminal, but becomes absolutely famished. He eats all the food in the lodge, including Shigeru Miyamoto in his sushi form, Napoleon in his escargot form, and even inhales Marx in oxygen form. Soon afterward, he begins to hear their voices in his head. Thinking that he has gone insane, Mario jumps out of a window and lands in a huge snowdrift, crashing into the ground and falling through what turns out to be a secret underground den. There, he hears the word "holero" once more, and is instructed by Toad to cover his ears. He complies, only to be spotted by Cthulhu, who has been sleeping in this den the entire time. Marx instructs Mario to open his mouth and summon every ounce of his energy. Thus, under Marx's guidance, Mario fires a Shoop da Whoop at Cthulhu, severely wounding him. Mario is about to finish him off, but Napoleon asks him to interrogate Cthulhu first. Mario complies, and forces Cthulhu to explain his motives. Cthulhu says that he was the one who originally invented the magical word "holero", and had been using to turn people into food so that he wouldn't starve during the winter. He then grabs Mario with one of his tentacles, and begins to drag him toward his mouth. Shigeru Miyamoto quickly explains how to summon everybody who was eaten by Mario, and Mario does exactly that. Then, Mario and co. all strike simultaneously and finish off Cthulhu once and for all. Demolishing the Comic Soon after this comic was made, it was demolished and kept under a veil of secrecy by none other than Bob Saget himself. He felt that this comic had given Cthulhu, his own creation, a bad name. Moreover, he had been highly disturbed by the contents of this comic, even though he is Satan himself. Thus, the comic was destroyed and never mentioned again. Category:Weirdos Category:Books Category:Secrets Category:Evil